Time up.

Years ago it was common practice for a qualified doctor to lobotomise someone because they were deemed crazy, too crazy for public interaction. Which would be fair enough, I guess, given the lack of knowledge and science. It is no bad thing in one respect, it always makes me laugh in movies, there is not many things in movies that crack me up quite as much as someone who is lobotomised, or faking it like Jack in ’Cuckoos nest’. Sadly, in real life, it means that many unfortunate thinkers were subject to frontal lobe removal, just for thinking that one day we will go into space, or something equally prophetic.

For many the idea of the World being round was laughable, and not just a passing laugh-off, but a deep heartfelt, hurt-your-sides-piss-your-pants laugh. And lets not forget the poor ladies who were subjected to the paranoid testing of the local townsfolk to determine if they were a witch. The logic involved in that is remarkable, drowning people to prove they are not a witch, it’s not like she could celebrate being let off with it. If I had been a judge in Salem my test would be… ‘Put this in your mouth and start sucking, if I come then you are not a witch…’ They really missed a trick, quite literally.

So, taking all these things into account, is it safe to assume that the people or person who invented time maybe miscalculated. Many places around the world take naps, or siestas in the afternoon. When I would spend my summers in Italy as a child we were forced to take naps, I always thought that it was so the adults could punch us in the face for free, but since growing up and seeing younger kids sent for siestas I have never been asked by a parent or guardian to join in any such activity. So either I got it wrong as a child, or they don’t like me enough to ask me to strike their sleeping child. Either way, gutted.

My point is that, in Britain, one of the things on the massive list of things that is wrong with this country is that we don’t siesta. We allowed Brown to sneak in unelected and uninvited and continue with Blairs raping of the Middle East, we now officially hate everyone, we fear the most ridiculous things, and in general, shit costs too much.

Why don’t we siesta? Why don’t we completely change the concept of time? It wouldn’t be that problematic. I’m sure at some point some over paid public school boy thought it would be impossible to get the people on side for two wars being fought simultaneously, but he managed it. Now look at us, we are not just killing innocent people in one Muslim country, but two. Aren’t we just amazing. Woop woop to us.

It is now the law that we cannot smoke inside, who would have thought that would catch on? Not me, but it did, and controversially, I think it is much better. I smoke, but I also work in a bar and I like to choose when I smoke. That law passed with little fuss. As did the abolition of happy hour. So why would it be so hard for the Government to say, ‘OK you now have 14 12 hour days, but you still only have to work 6 of those days.’ I know what you are thinking, why do you need the government to Ok it? I don’t, this is how I live and I can’t recommend it highly enough.

Time, our current measurement originated in the Sumerian cities around 2000 BC. The Sumerian people had their fingers in many useful pies, their cities were the first to practice year round agriculture. These cities were in what is now Southern Iraq, in what was called the Cradle of Life, which if you know cool stuff like me, and/or can use Wikipedia then you will know that is a possible location for the origin of civilization. Which really means we should show it a little more respect. But that’s another matter.

2000 years is along time to stick to the original formula, look at religion and the religious, they change stuff all the time so that it fits in with their agenda for that particular era. Why not consider altering what we perceive to be a day, disregard seconds. I have never been seconds late for anything in my life.