If you are looking for a pro download argument, visit your local video shop or cinema. As sad, depressing and over-priced shitholes go, you would be hard pressed to find a place that beats your local video shop or cinema.
I had the misfortune of having nothing to do the other night, I usually find something to do, but the other night - being the night it was - I had no plans. I decided, in my infinite wisdom, to go to Blockbuster. I had refrained from going there for ages, because I owed them money, not a lot as it turns out, but every time I go I end up taking the DVDs back late and owe more money. They have sent debt collectors after me for less than a tenner. This is largely why I just download or "steal" movies.
But I noticed something that I hadn't noticed the last time, which could be because the "download effect" really has taken hold. Equally, I tend to be high when I go to Blockbuster, so it is possible that I have just never noticed, but the place is grim, super grim. I'd go as far as to call it "ghetto". Out of the 3 DVDs I rented, all of them were scratched, one was too scratched to watch. All were fairly new releases. This is as much to do with the customers as it is to do with the company itself, but that is not the point.
The cinema is just as bad. I have been to my local cinema (an odeon) about 2 times in the last 5 or 6 years. The reasons being as follows. It is stupidly expensive. It is dank, dirty and fucking old. The staff are just so far beyond terrible that it is a wonder they even address you as a human being. The last time I was there was to watch District 9. The projector cut out 3 times, and while it came back on at the same point each time I had to argue with the manager to get my money back. Which I eventually did, in the form of a free ticket. Which I took and didn't use. But it was the principle. I hadn't been in a few years before that day, I only went because my friend Paul was up from London and we wanted to sit in the cold and see a movie on a big, worn out screen.
The time before that I was there myself, I was baked, and wanted to see something. I can't for the life of me remember what film it was, I didn't stick around to watch it. It was a Sunday, I think. There was about 6 people in the cinema. I sat up the back, and just before the movie started two guys came in and sat in the row in front of me. I say "guys", lets call them "cunts". So these two cunts sat down and started talking. No big deal, I thought, the movie had not yet started.
They continued to talk as the movie started. I looked about, no one else looked close enough to have it bother them. Then, just when I thought they couldn't be bigger cunts, they started smoking. It was before the smoking ban, but still, you can't smoke in a cinema.
The main problem I faced is that there were two of them, they sounded like madmen in the way that they talked, and I was baked. I looked around to see if a member of staff had clocked it. No staff. They continued talking and smoking. I decided enough was enough, I wasn't focused on the movie, and didn't really care to get into a fight with a cupla fannies. So I grabbed my bag, jacket, drink and popcorn and walked into the lobby.
In the lobby I found the 3 staff members gathered, the one guy was telling a story to two females about, from what I could gather, a night out. Something that made him sound cool, no doubt. A combination of frustration at not telling those guys to fuck off, and my buzz being ruined by the second. I took action at the real problem, the staff.
The two cunts smoking and talking in the cinema were not the real issue, deeper down in the situation were the people being paid to deal with the running of the place. At least I told myself that so I could blow up at someone. I took my popcorn and my juice and I emptied them on the floor in front of the staff, and I stepped onto it and said something along the lines of "Great story, listen, if you're not up for doing your job in there, you can do it out here." I called them assholes and I left.
It costs the guts of £15 for a trip to the cinema, more in some places. It costs the guts of a fiver to rent a movie. Yet the standard of both don't reflect the price. Let's for a minute forget about all the fucking dumb movies that Hollywood release weekly. Remakes, prequels, sequels, re-imaginings. Anything to steer clear of hard work and originality. Because hard work and originality costs money.
If blockbuster or odeon went out of business no one would mourn them. They deserve to die. Fuck them. Keep up or fuck off. They have done nothing to their prices, blockbuster have 99p rentals, sure, but they were first used as Frisbees by the looks of them. If the new releases look like a miniature ice rink, you can imagine how bad the DVDs that have been out for a year + would look like. I hope they do go out of business, the fucks. At least HMV have dropped their prices, it's still an over priced shithole mainly, but they do cheap(ish) DVDs. Plus you get to keep them.
The point is, why make such an effort to put yourself in a situation where you are getting shafted at great cost to you? Why pay some wanky film school cunt at your local cinema to not do the easy as fuck job they have? I'd love to work in a cinema. Getting paid to watch movies? The dream. File sharing exists, the movie execs will have to find a way to evolve in to it. It's not going away. My first business as a kid was pirating and selling VHS. Me and my buddies sold them down the market. I didn't think it was a crime then and I certainly don't think it is now. Oceans 12, that was a crime. Stardust, that was crime. I didn't start a campaign against the talentless fucks who shat those movies into existence. But the fact I paid to go see them entitles me to steal other movies. That's how this shit works. I see a bad movie, I steal a good one. Tit for tat. One thing is for sure, I am pretty much certain I won't be going back to blockbuster or odeon.
Saturday 18 February 2012
Friday 10 February 2012
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