Everyone in massproduced.

This is a piece I wrote for an online fashion magazine, needless to say they didn't accept it, saying that this piece "is against everything we believe in". To this point the best review I have had.




I'm somewhat new to the fashion world. Sure I have a fine collection of clothes, but I have never seen it as anything other than stuff I put on in order to fit into certain occasions. I realise that wearing a football top to a wedding is a no no, and believe me, I have seen it happen. I also know that dressing like everyone else is not being fashionable. Shops that sell cheap shitty clothes, kitting out entire cross sections of people in identical clobber to the point it becomes like mini gangs in 4 pound jeans. If you can buy a pack of underpants for less than you could probably get for the ones you are wearing, it's probably not that good of a deal.
Expolitation rears its ugly head around this company, and many like them, crazy hippy friends are always trying to get me from going there, crying on about people being exploited in the making of these garments, the fact that you could buy a suit for 30 pounds would make that a fairly obvious assumption. At least they are getting paid, right? They could be unemployed, trying to steal for dinner, or pimping themselves out to the cats with the jobs. All in the name of fashion, however. No right minded person could pass on cheap clothes, the chance to look good for a night out on budget, not being fussed that it warps shape after one wear, let alone wash, you can always buy another one. Everyone in massproduced. The constant stream of individuals through pub doors, all working individualy to look exactly the same as each other, uniformed conformity. These unwitty 'witty' tee shirts with badly coined phrases printed on the chest for the more doucheir male. 'Just add beer' a personal favourite of mine, completely ridiculous to me, yet completely genius humour to another, the fashion equivelant of someone disliking The Naked Gun but finding Bridgette Jones Diary utterly hilarious. Nightclubs are the battlegrounds where these fashion wars are fought, where guys and girls in sweatshop ensembles dance the dance, drinkin too much, too much, and try their very best to lay claim to a member of the opposite sex for the night (next few minutes), which is probably a bigger deal for the boys in the place, they have mates to impress, each of them in a different tee shirt complete with witty one liner, these people have no chat of their own, which is why they excel in the nightclubs, anyone with anything to say, or a decent dress sense lose out to these charlatans on a regular basis because the women in nightclubs are so slutty and blinkered towards guys who look like footballers because they might have fancy cars to go along with the diamond ear stud, strangely this look that the club guy has cultivated this century would be seen as homosexual in any other time in history, the only difference is that the modern day metrosexuals are horribly boring people, too much lager, not enough education.
Could the fashion world be in jeopardy? Could we be heading towards a time where price and convienience overshadow quality and style? I believe we are already there, I myself own over 15 black work shirts, because sometimes I forget to do a washing and I need one last minute for work, and at three pounds for a shirt, one can't really resist. I guess we are all guilty at some point for something.
Society has always been image concious, and the music industry has always been at the fore front, The Beatles constant reinvention, the punk movement in the 70's the new romantics in the 80's, the madchester, parkers and pills, movement in the early nineties, even today we have people like Amy Winehouse rocking retro zombie- chic, Posh spice always trying her hardest to remain relevant in a world moving out of her weak malnourished grasp, a relic from the nineties whose fame is largely thanks to her choice in men, and partly because there is nothing to her, a sad example of women who need to be match stick thing to gain the attention of men, me personally, I like them bigger, there is nothing better than a bit of a curve on a woman, they feel great. Sadly I am a minority, or at least that's how it feels to me, the fan of the bigger woman is like the man who championed beta-max, everyone knows it was a better format; it just didn't catch the breaks VHS did. Sophie Dahl was a great example of sexy curvaceous woman, sadly she must have taken up the cocaine diet because she is now a rake, well she was the last time I googled her, in a quick one-two knock out move, she shed all her curves and started dating pop dwarf Jamie Cullem, I’m still waiting for the punch line regarding that relationship. This argument over weight, size zero and all that is, like most things, a double edged sword. Some people take things too far, they get over excited and say something totally ridiculous. Beth Ditto is the singer, a term I use very loosely, for a band called The Gossip, many newspapers and magazines, the NME being the worst for it, heralded Ditto as a renegade against the size zero models that young girls aspire to be, as if she chose to be bigger just to stick it to the skinny girls, when it's just a simple case of overeating. So, ladies and gentlemen, by their reckoning your daughter is either going to be a stick thin supermodel whose diet consists mainly of cocaine and semen, or the singer in an awful band, whose diet clearly isn't working for her. It is not really a tough decision when put like that, where would you rather be? A fashion show, surrounded by the famous, glamorous people, or a Gossip gig, surrounded by people waiting for that one song they had. At the same time putting up with Beth Ditto trying her hardest to wrestle her way out of her tight fitting formerly designer clothes, just to remind us she is fat and proud, which was plainly obvious before she stripped. I would be looking for middle ground; quite literally, I would mathematically work out the exact middle point between the two events and go stand there and look at pictures of Beyonce and Rhianna until it’s all over.